Even more cookies

This blog has lately been all about cookies. Deal with it. ;)
Now how adorable is this bathroom set from My Paper Crane??

It's Cookie Time!

Hm, I figured instead of having my never published Millions of Morsels posts go to waste, I'll integrate it into this blog. Genius. Why didn't I think of that earlier? Aren't you guys excited to hear about cookies??? I AM I AM!

Written 4 million years ago....

Cookie Monster of the Month // Angry Asian Man

The real reason I went to Angry Asian Man’s 10th Anniversary Party. Just kidding....or am I?

I’ve always been a big fan of angry asian man -- the blog and the man behind the blog. Why? He’s a college sunbae (loosely translated to predecessor), he provides fantastic content and he’s just an overall great, down-to-earth guy.

I became a mega-fan though when he celebrated his blog’s 10th Anniversary with COOKIES (made by TST). Dude, how much better can he get, right? We should all celebrate with cookies. Every day.

Finding out that he was a cookie fan, I had to ask him about his life as a cookie monster.

What's your earliest cookie memory?

Nabisco Nilla Wafers. With milk.  I remember munching on those things like crazy.  I'd stack them up and eat 'em one by one.  Haven't had any in while though.  But the sight of the box, and the mere smell of the vanilla always evoke a rush of childhood memories.

The best cookie you've ever eaten?

Ever? Crap, that's hard.  Okay, this doesn't even count, because it's not technically a cookie, but it's friggin' amazing.  In Korea, there's a street vendor in Insadong that sells hodduk -- a fried batter thing filled with a sugar, honey, nuts and other sweetness from Jesus.  Again, totally not a cookie, but easily one of the most delicious things I've ever eaten. Period.  I have dreams about that damn hodduk.

What's your main ingredient(s) to leading a successful life?

Simply put, do what you love. Figure out what you want to give a damn about, and then give a damn.  Everything else will fall into place.

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Okay, back to present time. Big belated thanks to Phil for the interview! Don't worry, I did thank him via email and in person 3.75 million years ago.
He interviewed me, too, last year. ;)

Vulnerability, Failures & Liberation

Kinda in relation to my previous post...

This past year, I've been experimenting with vulnerability. I've always had an arms wide open mentality towards trying new things, and I continually push myself into new situations where I'm uncomfortable (like that time I spontaneously went to Santa Barbara and learned how to swage and put up festival structures with randos for a festival I didn't attend).

I swaged the heck out of this mother effer

It's weird, uncomfortable situations comfort me. It makes me feel alive [arms waving in the air]!!! However, coincidingly (is that a word?), I've always had a phobia towards showing or expressing my vulnerability. I used to feel ashamed, embarrassed and less of a person whenever people caught me at my times of weakness.

In other words, I am rad at being vulnerable to experiences but bad at being vulnerable to people.
And what I'll confess next will show you just how inexperienced I am in with the latter -- I learned, this year, that being vulnerable to others: 1) deepens relationships, 2) for some reason, allows them to trust you more, 3) is really liberating. Mind blown. Did you guys know this?? How come you never told me? Thanks, guys. Thanks. It's good to finally join this secret vulnerability club. I could've been forever alone, y'know, if I never found out about this club.

Joining the meme club late, too, as usual.

It's been amazing, I tell ya. I am really enjoying, loving and appreciating the solid friendships more than ever this year. And I feel more free than I ever have in my life!

Anyway, since we're on the theme of vulnerability today -- just gonna keep exposing myself for the heck of it. Maybe you'll feel better about yourself standing next to me and my failures. :D Maybe you'll feel inspired to open up. Maybe you won't. *whisper* freeeeeeee yourself.


Here's one FAIL that I used to be ashamed of. But you know what? It's gotten me closer to understanding what I'm good at and what I want to be doing:

My attempt at designing and developing my own blog.

Did you guys know I had a cookie blog at one point in my life? I even interviewed my friend Andrew, Phil (his never got posted) and my blog crush, Lynn Chen (hers never got posted either), and had goals to eventually interview Anthony Bourdain. I had huge dreams to open up a cookie bakery once my cookie blog took off. Neither happened. Because I didn't keep it up. Because I realized, the hard way, that although I LOVE cookies, this just wasn't my path. Let's not call this a failure, but a learning experience. :P

Next time, I'll tell you guys about the time I tried to start a catering company with my friend.

Breathe.

Breathe.

Sometimes,
You
just
can't
do
everything.

I often forget how liberating it is to admit and accept my limitations.

----

P.S. the plus side of having unusually hot days is having really lovely nights. 

Duh

It's 3:30 p.m. and all I've eaten today is peanut butter. I bought the jar a week ago...and I've already hit the bottom of it. Told you I like peanut butter.

I am a mess. Despite what my friends and loved ones think, I am a mess. With 7 seasons of Grey's Anatomy under my belt, I think I'm quite qualified to diagnose myself, thank you.

I get my work done. I hang out with friends. I watch sunsets, do yoga, go on long drives and am inspired by beautiful things. I am a fully functioning adult. But on the inside, just right in between my central core and my outer layers, I am in a FUNK. And I have been for quite some time now.

The hardest part is, I'm not sure what more I can do. Sure, I can stop devouring peanut butter like it's my dream job. But does that solve anything? Nuh-uh. I may not know much, but one thing I do know how to do is  solve problems. I know that in order to solve a problem, one must first identify the ROOT of the problem.

I have definitely mastered that step. I've identified AND defined the root (in my personal journals) almost to the point of oblivion. I've defined it through diagrams and images, through obscure poems and short stories. And no, I'm not going to tell you what it is.

The thing is, the root of the problem - the nature of it is something that cannot be solved by me. It cannot be solved by me or my actions. In this case, it really just takes time and patience.

Annnnnd, there it is. Patience. Something that I lack, something I have low quantities of. Patience. Lack of patience is making me a mess.

I get it now. Life (God, the Universe, the Force or what have you) is funny. And clever! Life really gives you whatever you truly need. Impatience is one of, if not the biggest, vices I have. I lack so much patience....that life gave me a problem that can only be solved by an abundance of it.

Haha, I get it. Thank you, life.


----

In other news: I blushed when I read this. The funny thing is, I admire this woman like mad. And here she is, saying positive things about me? I don't know what to say except thank you. I'm so glad you enjoy my food. You are an inspiration to meeeee. 

Likes

Someone recently asked me what I like and don't like. Don't think I've been asked that question since elementary school. Well, here's what I wrote in my journal so far. I'll post some dislikes later.


I like making eye contact, smiling through my eyes and seeing the other person smile back through theirs.

I like peanut butter. Too much.

I like riding my bike short distances, to the grocery store, library and get-togethers nearby.

I like dancing with my eyes closed. It helps me listen to the music better.

I like the smell of honey and gardenias. Separately. Though I think they'd smell quite lovely together, too.

I like how my heart feels after I write, do yoga, pray, speak with a dear friend or make a new connection.

I like falling asleep. 

I like writing lists. And writing, in general, to sort things out and figure out the world/myself.

I like knowing that I'll be thankful for life, no matter what.

I like bringing people together.

Somebody & Sunset

It's funny...or tragic (I can't decide) how a person who you come to know so well and vice versa, a person who is your person and you are theirs, can become just another somebody.

It's probably best that I do not dwell on that.

---

In other news, I saw a magnificent sunset on my drive to SF two weeks ago.
It was a beautiful gift that lasted a breathtaking thirty minutes. What made it even better was the perfect and random song selection from my iTunes that accompanied the view. A magically curated sunset mini mixtape, is what I'd call it.

A MAGICALLY CURATED SUNSET MINI MIXTAPE