two moments in time...

one.
as a white shadow
writhed into the soul unnoticed
smothered and stifled
the urgency of passion
for fellow man
for saving lives

strange
and uneasy
this shadow, this figure
that placed secondary rights over primary

webbed and forgotten
in the city of self

this is not me


two.
a very ah-ha moment.
a crystal clear moment in time.
when the clouds part
and everything shimmers and glows with jelly bean tears of joy and gummi bear hugs of warmth.

i had beer two nights ago.
and it tasted DELICIOUS. like, is this what i have been missing all my life, slap my face is this real delicious. so delicious i drank 3/4th of the bottle (if you don't know, i usually have one or two forced sips).
so THIS is what that german guy meant on that one trip to who knows where in thailand.

sophomore year of high school, i get sent to a student leadership retreat called LINKS (Leadership Ina New Kinda Style...serious, i'm pretty sure i still have the shirt somewhere). two other students accompanied me from my school, let's call them hans and aladdin. the first night, after throwing eggs off the second floor all day to somehow exercise our great leadership, we hang out by the pool. in thailand. me, hans the german, and the guy who looked like aladdin.
[okay, sorry to digress, but DUDE. i didn't know i had it good when i had it goooood. thailand. near the pool. two hot guys who play rugby and futbol. no supervision. thailand. at night. at a resort. near a freakin' lagoon like pool with warm breeze and bright stars. all expenses paid. thailand. rugby. futbol. man...]
so anyway. hans and aladdin are sipping on some beers. prude yulree inquires, "why do you drink beer? it's bitter and tastes nasty." hans, with his rugged, chiseled jaw replies, "it is when you first try it. but your tastebuds will start to enjoy it the more you have it. it's like honey. try it." prude yulree says no and runs off to bed early humming a whole new world.

i had long forgotten this retreat. and the german boy. and his wise words. and his aladdin sidekick.
several years after this retreat, i tried beer. and despite it being bitter and nasty, it became my drink of choice. only becuase it was the one alcohol i could really take. and by take, i mean 2 gulps.

but who knew that every gulp i took for the past 4-5 years would bring me to this.
who knew that each sip brought me closer to this REVELATION.

holy crap, beer tastes great. and it's not bitter.
hans. the hunka hunka beer drinking sage. if only you could see me now.